When I was in grade school I always believed that I could be a superhero, when I was in middle school up until I was well into college I believed I had a bright successful future, I would start a family, have kids, be middle high class, and wake up every morning as a member of society smiling with meaning, happy. Now I am 38, recently got promoted to a manager position in a nice stable office job, and my severe allergy to bananas has passed (though I am still extremely scared to have them), I wake up like everybody else with a cup of coffee, and I would say I am happy. I drink my cup of joe in the living room to the sound of the news reporter. I used to think they were aliens who knew the ins and outs of the world, but ordinary people they are. Today I don’t have work, we have it off but my coworkers insisted that we host a party for my promotion at a nearby pub, so I have the whole morning, and afternoon to myself. I guess I will start early on the next project our company is having.
After a few hours, the clock is almost there so I get in the car and drive over to the pub where the party will be held. A little while later, people arrived one by one congratulating me, they all settled down, started ordering drinks, and were laughing and chatting away but I didn’t quite know what to say, nor did I know what anyone was saying, maybe I was bad at parties. I found a slight window where I was able to slip away and went outside for a quick cigarette, ah
much better, a nice smoke always makes my body feel light, and warm. The door opens and a man steps out carrying two drinks, I don’t know who he is but he starts to speak to me,
“Hey, manager! You can’t leave your own party like that!” Oh, he’s one of my co-workers, perhaps he’s new?
“I wanted to wind down a little and feel the breeze.”
“And also smoke?”
“Yeah, I guess, care for one too?” I offer him a cigarette from my pack.
“Well aren’t you a kind manager, since you offered I’ll spend my last cigarette with you.”
He takes one, holds it in his mouth, and lights it.
“Your last one?” I ask.
“You see my wife’s pregnant, I don’t want to harm the baby or be a bad influence so I decided to quit early.”
“Well, that’s nice, congratulations on your pregnancy.”
“Thank you.” He grins.
“How’d you join the company? I don’t see you around, are you new?” I ask.
“I’ve been in the company for eight months now, I wanted this job since it was close to my house, and it seemed like a stable job so I took it, I don’t want to be too far away and gone for a long time. I got a family to take care of y’know? Also don’t you think it’s quite irresponsible for a manager not to know his own juniors?” My eyes widened, I didn’t recognize him at all.
“What’s with that look? C’mon, I was just teasing, don’t let it get to you.” He cheerfully smirks.
“Well, manager, how’d you get into the company, I heard you were a photography major, so why a job where you sit in front of a computer screen all day?” I have never been asked something like this before, I think about it but nothing comes to mind,
“I’m not quite sure.” That is the best response I can muster.
“Sorry, if it made you feel uncomfortable, it’s just you don’t seem like you enjoy working here, I was curious, don’t feel pressured to give me an answer it’s alright. Oh and I almost forgot, I brought a drink for you, you can drink it here or take it home.” He hands me the bottle.
“Thanks.”
“No worries, I’m heading back in, you can leave if you want I’ll tell them for you.”
“Yeah, that’d be much appreciated.” The door closes behind him, for some reason smoking today made my chest feel heavy, I throw the cigarette away in a trash can and drive home where I get ready to go to sleep.
I didn’t get much rest last night, I’m not quite sure what it is, but nevertheless, I have to
get ready for work, I put on my suit and head out the door. On my way there my phone starts to
ring, it was my mother, so I pick it up.
“Hi, how are you?”
“I’m doing good, just heading off to work right now. How are you and dad?”
“Oh, you know us old but still full of energy.” She laughs.
“So-”
“No, mom I don’t have a girlfriend.” I cut her off.
“Look at you, taking the words right out of my mouth. Are you trying at least?”
“Yeah, I’ve been trying.”
“Good, I wanna see my grandchildren before I die, and I’m sure your father would too.”
“Alright mom I got it, I need to work now so say hi to dad for me.”
“I will, goodbye, good luck.”
“Bye” I hang up the phone and arrive at the workplace where I will spend most of my
day.
I sit down at my desk and start typing away as time passes by, and then I am done for
the day so I pack up and leave. The phone call this morning had me thinking at work, maybe I
should give it more effort, but what should I do? I get home and begin scrolling through my
phone, where I found a dating app called “Cinder”. I download it, and I have to make an account
so I fill in my name, birthdate, and location, put in some pictures, and I need a bio, a place to put
my hobbies. I write down “Manager of a successful company” and that’s all I can think of so I let
it be, I play with the app a little until It matches me with a diligent-looking woman, we talk for a
bit and set up a little dinner date at a nearby Italian restaurant tomorrow, I’m not sure if I’m
excited but I am glad I finally got a chance at romance. I went to bed early to catch up on the
sleep I lost last night, and prepare for the date tomorrow.
It is a workday like usual but after work I had a date waiting, so I quickly pack my stuff
and went to the Italian restaurant. I check in and wait at the table then I spot her in a long red
dress, high heels, and long back hair, she seems strong, diligent, and confident. She definitely
would be a good asset to our company.
“Hello, how are you?” I greet her.
“I’m good, how about you?”
“I am doing just fine, please order whatever you like.” She skims through the menu, and I
do the same.
“So what can I get started for you two today?” The waiter asks.
“Uh, I’ll take a caesar salad, spaghetti, and vanilla gelato for dessert”
“Got that, and how about you madam?”
“Let’s see… I’ll have a Caprese salad, squid ink pasta, and banana tiramisu.”
“Alright, I’ll get those put in for you.”
“Thank you.” We both say and the waiter leaves with our menus and order.
We sit here in wait but we don’t talk, only silently sipping water. I don’t know what to say,
I am quite inexperienced in this realm of dating, our salads came and the only sound was the
clanging of silverware, then our pasta still only silence, as our dessert arrives she speaks,
“Well, aren’t you gonna say something, tell me about yourself maybe?”
“Uh…” I can’t think of what to say.
“You’re quite the sad person, aren’t you?” She remarks.
“Wait, what? No, I’m perfectly fine. I have a good-paying job, I have a home, I have nice
coworkers, I don’t have any allergies… ” I frantically say to try and disprove her, “I am a
perfectly fine happy guy.”
She suddenly puts a piece of her tiramisu in my mouth, I chew a little and then I swallow,
processing what happened.
“Huh?! Didn’t that have bananas on it? I am severely allergic to bananas, you’re gonna
kill me!” I panic.
“Didn’t you say you don’t have any allergies?”
“Oh, right I forgot my allergies have passed.”
“Well, how’d it taste?”
“It, uh- it was surprisingly delicious, that might be one of the best things I’ve ever tasted.”
I’ve never had bananas before.
“Aren’t you glad you don’t have any allergies anymore?’ She asks.
“Yeah, I’ve always been glad.”
“Were you, or was it only a small snippet of your life that flew by without any meaning?”
I want to deny her but I just can’t words, she wipes her mouth and stands up.
“I’ll take my leave now, don’t worry I can handle the bill on my way out.” She starts
walking to the door.
“Wait! Would you care for another date sometime, maybe a much more normal date
somewhere?” I ask.
“Sure.” She turns around and says, then after paying, she leaves.
I took my leave shortly after and got into bed. I deeply think about what happened today
and I slowly start to fall asleep.
This morning I decided to clean my apartment. I start vacuuming the floors and dusting
off the counters when I spot a little black box in the corner of my eye, curious. I go and pick it up.
It was a camera, an old camera that had dust all over it, I have no idea how long it was buried,
but this sure brings back memories. I always loved photos, they capture the essence of life that
you simply can’t see, and it allows you to truly take in, and appreciate a moment in your life. It
made me feel like a superhero, being able to stop time and make every second worth living, but
then for convenience, I decided to take on an office job, then everything after was a blur.
“…A snippet of your life that flew by without meaning,” I mumble to myself the words I
was told yesterday.
I grab my phone and call my boss, “Hey, I was wondering if I can take the day- no, the
whole week off?”
“Oh, that’s a surprise coming from you. Yeah, take it off I don’t mind, I was worried about
you, you never stopped working, I’m glad you’re making time for yourself.”
“Thank you!” I smile.
“Go have a nice break.” He hangs up.
I take the camera and back up into a corner of the apartment, and take a picture of the
entire interior, with my tv, my couch, my coffee, and all my belongings. I examined the photo, it
was beautiful, I was able to see each aspect behind everything, a meaning. Perhaps my beliefs
are false but I’ll take the time to make them true, a time to settle down, talk to people, and
capture every moment of my life, making sure it blossoms with happiness because now I finally
know what it means.